


It just hurts

by iamglassfandom88



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha Suh Youngho | Johnny, Alpha Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, M/M, Multi, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Lee Taeyong, Omega Mark Lee (NCT), Suh Youngho | Johnny-centric, hurt johnny suh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29641842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamglassfandom88/pseuds/iamglassfandom88
Summary: ‘Someone kill me, please just kill me! ARGGHHH! It hurts— Just kill me! Let me fucking die! I want to die! Just let me die! KILL ME! PLEASE! Someone kill me— ARGHHHHH! It hurts so much!’  He couldn’t tell you how many times he screamed for all the pain to end, to die, to just end the painhe didn’t understand how anyone found their rut pleasurablehim he was just trapped in a blinding cycle of pure agony and he just wanted it to stop.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Lee Taeyong/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Mark Lee/Lee Taeyong, Mark Lee/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Suh Youngho | Johnny/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	It just hurts

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, I hope you enjoy this a/b/o story.  
> I tried my own take on a rut/ heat story– same topic but different too!  
> I hope its different than anything you may have read before and I hope it doesn't sound too rushed!
> 
> Feel free to comment! But more importantly I hope you enjoy! :)

Heats and Ruts. Parts of being an alpha or an omega that any wolf just had to live with.

For generations and generations, once a month an omega would get a heat. An instinctive primal act the body does to signal that the omega was ready for children, should the omega choose so with their mate. While all omegas had a heat, only the female omegas could produce a child from it, whereas male omegas were just out of work for about a week at a time with an increased, sweetened scent and other _ primal sexual urges _ to deal with alone. 

Alphas on the other hand had a rut every other month, again over the period of a week which could be spent with a mate or singly; for some alphas it was purely sexual, for mating, however most alphas just had to deal with hyper awareness of everything around them and an intense scent. The increase of potency of an alphas scent during a rut made everyone around them anxious so it was best for them to stay home during that time just for everyone elses safety.

However, through the years, cycles had become an inconvenience to everyone involved. Businesses were struggling due to the absence of staff so often and many people didn’t enjoy having to be off work for a week every month/ every other month, so with permission from World Governments at a conference in 1978, it was decided that the process to find a suppressant for those, intimate and inconvenient, carnal urges– to be taken by the general public, was to be done. The process took a few years, since the pill wasn’t to suppress all aspects of a wolf’s being, it was strictly supposed for the cycle aspect, so you would still be able to scent someone, know their secondary but you wouldn’t get the monthly or bimonthly week off work. Once an answer had been found and the public of most countries began to use these suppressants in 1981, it seemed to work, however, it didn’t take long before some disadvantages began to surface. Even though a series of tests had been done on the blockers, it hadn’t been discovered that after too long on them, a wolf could face some rising aggression– in both alphas _ and _ omegas shockingly, as there was no release of those primal body signals, so once again the World Governments gathered to discuss some laws that could be put in place to help stem that aggression.

The laws put in place in the summer of 1984 was that every presented wolf, from the age of 18 years old to 46 years old were legally required to take at least 4 weeks paid heat/rut leave a year. These could be natural cycles or medically induced cycles which became the most popular option as it meant that people could organise their time around the cycles so it wouldn’t affect their work as much. You could also choose not to go on suppressants at all, yet that option was only open as such to already mated wolves, as once mated your cycles weren’t as strong as an unmated wolves and you could safely work, even during a cycle.

Betas didn’t need to worry about this though, seeing how they would never experience a rut or a heat since it wasn’t part of their secondary makeup, so most betas were in higher working roles than many alphas and omegas as they were always likely to be there. 

There had been many stories about those parts of a wolf, false stories that heats were agony for an omega and an alpha in rut was the most dangerous creature you could ever encounter; However, unlike what the stories, films and tv shows made out about a wolf's heat or rut, how they were painful... were very, very wrong! In fact, nothing hurt about them at all. Yes a wolf would feel very uncomfortable for a week due to isolation or increased urges but nothing should ever hurt and if it did then there was something wrong and it was considered very worrying if you had painful cycles.

* * *

Johnny Suh’s friendship group was a mixture of different secondaries. He had betas, omegas and other alphas as friends too. Nearly all of them had been on suppressants all their lives, apart from Donghyuck, who had only presented 2 years previously, a late presenter, so he’d only been on them for just under 2 years. Johnny himself took suppressants even though he was mated already, however he  _ needed _ to be on them to not be in pain.

Johnny was a unique wolf in himself, having presented 4 years early at 14 years old. His parents had told him that they’d been woken up in the middle of the night on his birthday to him completely screaming his head off in pain with his scent off the scale in potency. He’d been rushed to the hospital where he’d had multiple tests done on him for different conditions yet there had been nothing to say why he had presented so early or why he was in so much pain. 

However, he hadn’t been put on suppressants at that point since he was legally too young for them. The earliest some wolves would present was 16 years old, 2 years after Johnny had, so the poor boy had had to wait another 2 years and in that time he’d endured 13 agonising ruts, each one just as bad as the next that Johnny lived in fear of his own body. So the day of his 16th birthday, the only thing he’d asked for was that they could go to the hospital to get his suppressants, finally! 

He’d taken his first one in the hospital room as soon as he was given them, and since that day, he’d never failed to take one every morning.

His medically induced ruts were completed in the hospital in a special, scent blocking, completely padded room designed just for him, where he could be monitored and pumped full of pain medication throughout the 4 days he’d be there. 

That never changed, not even after he’d met his mates.

He met his first omega, his sweet, beautiful, loving Taeyong first. They’d been 18 years old, just going into their first year of university when they met but it had taken them a few months to realise that the friendly affection they felt for each other was actually their soulbond calling them. Taeyong had been doing a catering course whereas Johnny was doing a business management major and an extra photography course. They dated for two years before Johnny mated Taeyong on his 20th birthday. When Taeyong was 23, he opened a café with two friends of theirs, Doyoung and Jungwoo where Johnny helped out sometimes, doing the photography for the place to put on the website, unless he was at his own job.

Mark was his next mate, a small, kinda awkward, 20 year old Canadian omega who moved to Korea to complete his final year of university– Johnny had realised he liked Mark the moment he’d heard the omega laugh, loud, high pitched happy laugh to something Johnny had said as he handed him his drink and that was that. Johnny had known. Taeyong had known if his heart eyes towards the younger man had been enough evidence and every time he came into the cafe, Taeyong made sure to give him the prettiest cakes, drinks etc. until they’d both gained enough confidence to ask him out. Imagine the scene: a pair of two 25 year olds frightened of asking out the man they knew they both liked! But he said yes and they ended up mating him 5 months after they started dating. 

It took more than a year to realise just how much he loved Lucas. The boy was the same age as Mark, his best friend at that. They were in the same performance course at uni and that meant that whenever Mark came to see his mates at work, Lucas would tag along. At first Johnny hadn’t known what to think of the younger alpha, he was tall– just shorter than Johnny, very broad and just large in general, which Johnny didn’t know if he was supposed to feel threatened by but after talking to him a few times, they’d realised he was just a massive puppy of a person! He was eager to please and just as laughy and silly as Mark and he was kind and genuine– always treating Taeyong with the utmost respect and Johnny more so, being the older alpha and his best friend’s mate. There wasn’t much to think of after that, the four of them would hang out often and he and Mark would have lessons, that it just became normal to see him around, but it wasn’t until Taeyong and Johnny came home one day from work to see Mark kissing the other alpha that Johnny realised he wasn’t angry about it... at all! It had felt natural and it was at that moment when he pulled the other alpha into a kiss, that he felt the soulbond snap into place as well. They mated another year after that.

Johnny knew that his mates all wondered why he never came off of his suppressants, even though they were mated and all 3 of them had come off them, but he’d never told them… he didn’t really know how. He still spent every one of Taeyong’s and Mark’s heats with them and he helped with Lucas’s rut, yet when it came to his rut it was completely different. They already knew that he had his medically induced but he never came home to spend it with them and he knew they had questions yet he still avoided the conversation as much as he could. He was a defective alpha and the fears that his mates would leave him if they knew, ran rampant through his mind.

* * *

He’d woken up late for work, his alarm not going off. His company, ‘Suh’s Finest’ known for their high quality jewellery, were set to partner with another company, run by a friend of Johnny’s from the states, Jaehyun, the owner of ‘Jung’s Jewellery’ for a new collection of both of their best pieces. There was meant to be a meeting at 10:30 to go over the first session of conditions, but Johnny was running later and called into the office to have it postponed for another 15 minutes. In his haste to get out the house as soon as possible, he washed, changed, grabbed a breakfast bar, kissed each of his boys and went– forgetting his suppressants on the kitchen counter. 

* * *

His Assistant, a beta called Taeil met him inside his office, handing him both a coffee and the topic folder for him to scan over before they headed into the meeting room. ‘Hyung, hey man! Um Jaehyun phoned, he’s going to be here in about five minutes, if you’d like to move to the meeting room!’ Yuta, his company second, an alpha and close friend poked his head round the door, making Johnny look up with a nod, ‘Yeah I’ll be there in a second, just let me grab my things quickly.’ He moved around the office, making sure he had a couple of pens in his pocket, the correct papers and handed his Ipad to Taeil for note taking throughout the meeting. 

‘Hyung, is it hot in here or is it just me?’ He asked, wiping a hand over his forehead, the feeling of sweat beginning to form but the beta shook his head, ‘No, not really.. Why? Would you like the temperature turned down a bit?’ Johnny nodded, feeling a bit too hot, thinking it was perhaps the tension of the meeting about to happen. ‘Yes please, get someone to do it during the meeting but right now we’d better head in!’ He stood up straight and walked the short distance between his office and the main meeting room, coming to sit at the head of the table with Yuta at his right and Taeil to his left, just as Jaehyun entered with his entourage giving Johnny a friendly smile as they came to sit the other side of the table, Johnny leaning over to shake his friend’s hand. ‘It’s great to see you again Jae, how have you been?’ He said, still feeling very warm as Jaehyun took his seat, ‘Same here, it’s been a couple of years hasn’t it? I’m doing alright, me and Doie hyung are waiting for Woo to finally move in with us but apart from that everything’s going well.’ Johnny couldn’t help but smile, Jaehyun had been with Doyoung for a couple of years before Jungwoo came onto the scene, he was a couple of years older than Mark and Lucas but became fast friends with the younger boys and Taeyong and he was perfect for Jaehyun and Doyoung.

‘That’s great to hear Jae! So how about we begin, since we have a fair deal to get through.’ 

The meeting was going well. Since both men were friends anyway, all business discussions were easy as they each had the other's interests at heart and both men had similar ideas for how they wanted the collaboration to go. However, Johnny was finding it quite hard to concentrate. He felt hot, far too hot yet after briefly glancing at the temperature panel, saw that it was only 17°c so it wasn’t hot at all yet he still felt that way. Johnny had a habit– during meetings, he always had a toothpick in his pocket which he could chew on, it was a subconscious action but he always did it, however when he went to chew on it, he had to quickly pull it away since the action made his teeth ache. He found it weird but tried to pay attention to what Yuta was proposing yet the aching in his teeth seemed to get worse and he felt the faintest contracting of his abdominal muscles which reminded him of the last time he’d had his induced ru… Wait!

Johnny suddenly became aware of just how awful he was beginning to feel. His teeth hurt, his stomach was twisting, he was hot as hell and he found that he couldn't breathe properly, every breath coming out laboured. He thought back to that morning when he’d been getting ready and as he replayed everything, swore at himself after remembering that he’d never taken his suppressant! That horrifying thought was quickly accompanied by the feeling of pain moving throughout his entire body, making him tremble. Letting out a tell-tale groan that something was wrong, shifting in his chair to collapse in on himself. 

‘Johnny!! What’s wrong?’ Taeil had his hand on Johnny’s back instantly as Yuta dropped to kneel beside him, ‘Hyung?’ The Japanese man took in a breath, jolting back as though he’d been struck, hand blocking his nose, ‘Is your rut starting?’ The alpha in question began shaking his head furiously, crying out when the action hurt, ‘No, no, no, this shouldn’t be happening! I need everyone to _ leave _ , please. Need everyone to  _ leave! _ Argh!’ There were a few moments of rustling papers, chairs moving and the sound of footsteps before Johnny could smell that it was just Jaehyun, Yuta and Taeil in the room with him. ‘Hyung, what’s going on? Why are you in pain if it’s just your rut?’ Johnny, lurched, tipping forward so much that he fell from the chair, as Yuta just managed to catch him before he face-planted the ground. ‘Ugh, it’s been like this since I was 14, I presented far too early but they never knew what was wrong with me. Arghh!!’ He cried out, body spasming as his abdomen contracted painfully, ‘Need… need..’ He could barely get the words out.

‘What do you need hyung?’ Jaehyun asked, sounding very concerned when all Johnny could do was motion towards his wallet in his jacket pocket, not even able to reach there due to the pain, making Taeil get it for him. ‘Call… doctor Zhang, his card is in there argh... he knows, urgh… everything about me! Call him please!’ Johnny’s body gave up completely at that point, creating an absolute wave of unbearable pain wash over him again and again and again until he could barely breathe from how much he was screaming.

He felt someone touch his shoulder, barely registering Jaehyun speaking to him, only catching the last part, ‘...is on their way ok! The ambulance will be here soon hyung, just hold on a bit longer!’ There wasn’t much else Johnny could do, his body convulsing and shaking and he knew his scent must have been drowning the other wolves in the room yet they stayed by his side. Taeil even jumped to pull Johnny’s body away from the table where he was just about to smack his head on one of the legs. They all tried to keep him as comfortable as they could manage, putting their jumpers and coats underneath him as he twisted, trying to keep him from injuring himself on the hard ground. 

Johnny knew he must have looked absolutely awful, he’d seen a video of one of his earlier ruts that the doctors had taken, with consent, so that they could show some specialists and scientists and he had been shocked because even though he knew how it felt, he hadn’t really ever thought about how he must look. Howling in pain as he convulses, trembles,  _ throws _ himself around, trying to get away from a pain that is inescapable and it made him feel so guilty that his friends were having to witness this. 

It seemed like he’d been there forever before he heard the voice of the one person he trusted to take care of him like this, Dr Zhang Yixing. He’d been looking after Johnny since his first rut and knew everything about him! ‘It’s alright Johnny, it’s alright. I’ve got you buddy! I’m getting you out of here in a minute, I have your morphine Johnny but I need you to try and focus on me bud ok? Can you do that for me kiddo?’ Johnny didn’t care that he was an adult, Yixing speaking to him like a kid was probably one of the only things that could help keep him reasonably sane through any of his ruts! His doctor always made sure he was available for every single one Johnny had, because they were never sure what complications he could have since he was such a unique case and they didn't want him to stop breathing! 

He heard Yixing speaking to the others who came to crowd him and along with some other paramedics in attendance held him still enough for his hyung to administer the morphine into his arm and the reaction was almost immediate, Johnny just completely collapsed, breathing in huge gasps of breath through the oxygen mask placed over his nose and mouth, his chest heaving in effort. He was still convulsing, could feel that as he jerked but the pain wasn’t really there anymore, everything just felt numb. 

He must have been so completely out of it that he never registered being lifted onto a stretcher, doused in scent blocker before being carried out the building to the ambulance. He didn’t remember the journey, didn’t remember getting to hospital and definitely didn’t remember the looks on his mates faces when they first saw him being wheeled inside!

He was wheeled straight to his specialised room, just as the morphine began to wear off, though he was quickly given more as they cut off his clothes, sticking pads to parts of his body. They remained with him for a few more minutes as the morphine kicked in before all heading out the room leaving him to himself for a while, in his last moments of lucidity he’d get.

He didn’t know how long it was before the morphine began to wear off again, forcing him into another bout of painfilled torture, wishing that he could just die– It was only a thought that happened during his ruts, he never thought it before or after but in his ruts there was nothing to stop that thought from becoming very present in his head.

‘Someone kill me, please just kill me! ARGGHHH! It hurts— Just kill me! Let me fucking die! I want to die! Just let me die! KILL ME! PLEASE! Someone kill me— ARGHHHHH! It hurts so much!’ He couldn’t tell you how many times he screamed for all the pain to end, to die, to just end the pain even though he was being administered morphine every 15 minutes. His voice always ended up hoarse and gravelly from the screaming and he was dripping with sweat even though he’d been stripped of all his clothes apart from his underwear. There was nothing that he could find pleasure from during his rut, absolutely nothing. He couldn't even think of his mates during his rut because of how consuming the pain was and he’d only told Yixing this, but he didn’t understand how anyone found their rut pleasurable– how Lucas found his rut pleasurable, even though he  _ clearly _ did yet Johnny could never understand how.

He didn’t know how many times he was pumped with morphine that day, or how many times he passed out, because to him he was just trapped in a blinding cycle of pure agony and he just wanted it to stop.

* * *

Taeyong really hadn’t been prepared for the phone call he received that morning. 

He had a day off from working as did Mark and Lucas, so the three of them were just chilling together on the sofa watching a random reality show, well if you could consider getting distracted by Lucas wanting kisses the whole time as watching then yes they were ‘watching’ the TV. The baby alpha wasn’t content with just a couple of kisses so one after another Mark and Taeyong would indulge him, because why wouldn’t they, their alpha was cute and he deserved all the kisses they had to offer.

It had been a struggle to escape his boys after the phone had begun to ring, but they eventually let him go despite the whining he received. He couldn’t help but chuckle as his alpha and omega immediately turned to cuddle up to one another, answering quickly when he saw Taeil’s number on the screen. ‘Hey hyung, has Johnny left something at home again?’ He chuckled, thinking he’d get one in return but when the elder man said nothing the smile wiped off of his face. ‘Um no um. Look Taeyong I think you all need to get over to the hospital, there’s something really wrong with Johnny, something to do with his rut, but I don't really understand what’s going on, only that he's in a whole load of pain right now. He’s being taken to South Moore Hospital, you’d better get going, like right now. I’m sorry Yong, I’ll come by when I can, but there are some things that need sorting out here. I’m really sorry Yong-ah. Bye.’ 

The dial tone sounded, yet Taeyong was frozen, holding the phone to his ear. He was shocked, frightened and really confused. ‘Hyung? What’s wrong?’ He came back to himself to find both his boys stood in front of him looking worried, spurring Taeyong into action, ‘We need to go now! Johnny is going to hospital for some reason I don’t really understand why! But we need to go now!’ He knew he should have remained somewhat calm, seeing how both his other mates were now radiating distress but in that moment he was mainly focussed on getting to the hospital to see Johnny, yet he was responsible, making sure to drive carefully despite the worry he felt, getting to the hospital, parking and running to the front just as an ambulance pulled up. Taeyong could smell his mate before he saw him, Johnny was wearing a scent blocker but Taeyong could still smell him clear as day as he was wheeled very quickly from the vehicle inside the building. Johnny looked nothing like Taeyong had ever seen, convulsing, shaking,  _ screaming _ something Taeyong had never seen, but there was one second where he thought Johnny looked at them before crying out again. 

Taeyong grabbed hold of Mark’s hand, pulling him along as they all entered the building behind the stretcher, being raced down the hall towards another part of the hospital. There was a man running behind the stretcher, barking orders to the other nurses around so Taeyong assumed he was in charge, calling out to him. The man stopped, and turned to face them with questioning on his face before taking a breath, taking note of their combined scents. ‘You must be here for Johnny, come with me, I think we have a lot to discuss once I have him situated. Follow me.’ he left no room for comment, just carried on walking with some haste down various corridors before letting them through a carded door which led to a singular room with a large screen window. There was also equipment outside the room, a computer and a couple of different monitors connected to other screens along with a table and some chairs.

The doctor stopped just before the window, turning to give them a hard look, ‘Now this is where some things may get difficult but I can’t have you trying to meddle with anything however much it may hurt you. You will just have to wait until I come back out. Do you understand?’ The three of them all nodded, to which the doctor just turned and carded himself into the room, leaving them to finally look into the room. 

Mark immediately began to cry, Taeyong the same, while Lucas just froze, an upset whine in his throat as they watched their mate thrash and cry. Johnny was on the floor of a fully padded room, a few nurses and the doctor around him, cutting his shirt and trousers off before sticking some pads on the side of his neck, over his heart and on the backs of his hands– the only one to have a wire attached to it. They did eventually back away when he began to relax a bit, all coming back out the room talking quietly between themselves, the doctor giving some directions which the nurses soon went off to complete, leaving him with the 3 of them. 

‘I know this must be rather upsetting for you to all witness, partially a reason why he never said anything to you but now I think you have a right to know everything. Come and sit down, he should be fine for a short while before he needs more attention.’ The doctor gave them a kind smile, motioning towards the table going over to sit down himself. It took Lucas dragging them away from the window to get them to sit , even though Mark never took his eyes off one of the monitors that showed the inside of the room, showing Johnny. There was silence for a few minutes, none of them knowing what to say, until the doctor spoke again, ‘Well first things first, I am Doctor Zhang Yixing and I have been Johnny’s doctor for the last 14 years since he presented as an alpha at 14 years old and I assume that you are Taeyong, Mark and Lucas. His alpha and his omegas?’ Taeyong nodded, ‘Yes we are. I’ve been mated with him since we were 20, Mark from when we were 25 and Lucas when we were 27. I’m sorry for being abrupt but what’s wrong with him? I’ve never seen him like that before…’ 

Dr Zhang sighed, rubbing his hand over his face before looking back at them, ‘That is his rut…’ Someone gasped, was it Mark? ‘That’s not a rut– I, I know what a rut looks like and that is nothing like a rut I‘ve ever heard of!’ Lucas stammered out, clearly in disbelief but the Doctor just shook his head, ‘That may not be a rut you have ever seen before but I promise you that, that is Johnny’s. He’s been suffering with these pain filled ruts since the night of his presentation. That’s a reason why he hasn’t come off of his suppressants despite your mating with each other and it’s the reason he always comes to hospital to have his ruts medically induced.’ Mark turned away from looking at the screen, ‘Why though? Why is he in so much pain and how does being medically induced do anything to help him?’ The Doctor looked at the youngest omega sadly, ‘We don’t actually have an answer for that, we have theories that it could be because he presented too early, his body chemicals weren’t in balance when he presented but we’ve never found a definite cause and if I could find one I would because I hate seeing him in pain just as you do, especially being a doctor when I can only do so much to manage it with pain medication. And to answer your second question, medically inducing his ruts means that we can control the number of days he has to endure it, since the chemical that’s used for ruts can be used in different amounts for a different number of days– and normally when he comes in we induce it for 4 days, it’s his max, he will never usually go over 4 days however this time, since it wasn’t in his or our control…’ 

The doctor sighed, turning to look at the monitor for a moment, before looking back at the 3 of them. ‘He will most likely be in rut for the next 6 days, which, as Lucas will know, is the normal amount of days for a rut for most alphas. However, in Johnny’s case it will feel like so much longer to him, endless pain that we can only deal with so much in case of a morphine overdose but he is in a secure, padded room where he cannot physically hurt himself any more and he is monitored 24/7 throughout the duration of the rut. No one will see him, as no one other than  _ his _ team has access to this space and the room was designed and built especially for him, so he is safe, despite the pain he must endure.’ Dr Zhang took another look over at the screen, seeing and hearing when Johnny’s heart monitor began to go erratic before darting from his chair, rushing to press a button of the wall which let out a 3-note noise, before carding himself into the room. Mark went to follow, but Lucas was able to catch him round the waist, as nurses rushed through the room, ‘I need to go to my alpha! Lucas let me go, please let me go!’ 

Lucas just held the squirming omega closer, ‘You know I can’t baby, it’s just as bad for me and hyung, we all want to be with him but we can’t Mark, we’d be too emotional and we’d be in the way. Calm down darlin’ He pushed some alpha voice through his words making the youngest omega collapse back against his chest crying as they heard Johnny screaming again but the screaming wasn’t what made them so heartbroken, it was what he was screaming. ‘Someone kill me, please just kill me! ARGGHHH! It hurts— Just kill me! Let me fucking die! I want to die! Just let me die! KILL ME! PLEASE! Someone kill me— ARGHHHHH! It hurts so much!’ Taeyong sobbed, crowding round his mates to tuck his face into Lucas’s shoulder so that he couldn’t watch. He could feel the young alpha shaking with fear and protective emotions, his hold on Mark possibly being the only thing that was keeping him from trying to go into the room himself and Taeyong was proud of him for having that control in such a stressful environment, having to watch his mate in such agony.

Johnny screamed until he couldn’t any longer and Taeyong positively  _ hated _ how wrecked his voice sounded. His silky-smooth, warm voice was now hoarse and wheezy and when he breathed too deeply he’d cough. Taeyong wondered how he was going to get any fluids in and stay hydrated but once Dr Zhang had come back out again, and Taeyong asked, he explained that he would be given an IV line later that evening yet he wouldn't be able to eat so he’d be given nutrients and mineral through IV as well. It did help Taeyong to understand why Johnny always seemed a bit thinner after his hospital appointments, because he just wasn’t able to eat the entire time. The older omega made a note to make as much food as possible once Johnny could come home.

The doctor made them all go home that night, saying that nothing was going to change after they’d been there most of the day, Johnny was going to be in the same position and he’d have constant watch on him; Dr Zhang also said that he wasn’t going to go home as long as Johnny was in the hospital so if at any point something changes he’d call them himself! It did give them some reassurance at how kind and caring the older beta was, that Johnny was in safe hands but none of them could keep the anxiety from swirling around inside. 

* * *

Taeyong could swear that their car had never been so quiet before. It had taken some of Lucas’s alpha voice to get Mark to leave but in doing so, it had Mark pouting the whole way home, refusing to look at either of them and he’d practically ran inside once Taeyong parked the car. Taeyong knew how he was feeling, yet the older omega had more practice in keeping his emotions down in times of severe stress whereas Mark hadn’t but he couldn’t help it. His alpha was hurting and there was nothing he could do about it. 

Lucas was also quiet, his relationship with Johnny had always been a different one to his relationship with his omegas, yes there was still sex involved and love between them yet there was also a completely different layer of trust and caring simply  _ because  _ they were both alphas. It took so much for an alpha to give themselves to another alpha willingly due to conflicting dominance, even if they wanted each other, but with Lucas and Johnny, Lucas had subconsciously submitted as soon as he’d been kissed by Johnny that first time. Johnny had a level of dominance that was higher than most wolves yet he was also one of the kindest wolves as well and Lucas’s wolf had just submitted for that instantly. 

The young alpha had whined after Mark ran away from them, seeking some comfort from the elder wolf as they went inside, ‘It’s ok baby, he’s just upset, he’ll be fine in a little while.’ The young alpha became Taeyong’s shadow throughout the house, following him from room to room and into the kitchen to prepare a quick hearty meal for the 3 of them; they hadn’t eaten since breakfast that morning. Lucas had draped himself over Taeyong’s back, scenting over his bite on his neck before going to the other side of his neck to press a kiss on Johnny’s bite, making Taeyong shiver before shooing Lucas away to sit at the kitchen island.

Taeyong saw Lucas pick up a small bottle on the counter, ‘He didn’t take them this morning, that’s why he’s hurting because he forgot. He was in such a rush and didn’t take them. Oh hyung…’ The young alpha couldn’t help the tears that pooled in his eyes but wiped them away when they heard the sound of feet shuffling across the floor as Mark appeared at the door, looking small in one of Johnny’s hoodies, coming over to tuck himself in on Lucas’s lap, whispering, ‘I’m sorry Cas, hyung. Sorry.’ Taeyong purred in response to show he wasn’t annoyed, Lucas copying the sound, pulling the neck of the hoodie aside to press kisses on both his bite and again on Johnny’s bite on Mark’s neck making the omega laugh even as he shivered. 

Their evening felt lighter despite the knowledge that there was only 3/4ths of them but they managed to keep calm. They ate, then after a shower, each put on an item of Johnny’s clothing, Mark had his hoodie again, Taeyong took a t-shirt while Lucas had a pair of his sweatpants and then they all snuggled onto the sofa for the evening, silently agreeing that they wouldn't go to sleep in their bed without him there too. 

* * *

The next day, Taeyong had to go to work, yet since he co-owned the place he was able to discuss with Doyoung and Jungwoo about leaving just past lunch to go back to the hospital, which they were very understanding about, no doubt Jaehyun had told them what he knew. Lucas had to go to his job too, he worked at the local gym as a trainer however he only had 4 customers so he’d be done no later than 11:30 to go and get Mark from home– the lucky wolf whose work was all freelance as a music producer and lyricist. Their clever little omega!

The only difference about that visit was that when they entered the hospital and went to the reception, Taeyong was given a card to get into Johnny’s rooms courtesy of Dr Zhang who’d said they were his mates. For that they were grateful as it meant that they wouldn’t have to be escorted to the room anymore, they could just go as they liked. They also weren’t as emotional as the previous day, even though they were still worried and scared, there weren't any tears. Johnny still seemed the same although now he was in some very loose clothing since the room had been dropped in temperature to help combat the heat of his body. He also wasn’t screaming as much but they suspected that was due to his throat being sore that he just couldn’t but there was a lot of whining and whimpering which had Mark and Taeyong wanting to comfort him yet they still couldn’t go into the room. 

Every day was similar, work, hospital, home, sleep and repeat. Yet everyday Johnny seemed that much better. Even though the pain was still there and he couldn’t control his body very well, all the monitors showed that his body was in more harmony and his ‘rut’ chemical levels were dropping back to normal so hopefully by day 6 they would be able to put him back on his suppressants as to not cause another week of ruts. 

They let them scent a piece of clothing on day 5, one of Johnny’s tops. All 3 of them scented it and when it was put in the room with Johnny they’d heard him begin to purr, rolling over so that he was lying on top of the t-shirt, nuzzling his cheek into the cloth; it had made the 3 of them very happy, seeing as he was no longer convulsing so much, barely at all and he had stopped shouting and screaming completely, now he was only either whining or letting out the odd purr but Dr Zhang was confident that by tomorrow he’d be about 95% out of rut. 

* * *

‘Alright, you can go in and get him. We’ve done all our checks on him, his physical health is good, though he might be very tired and a bit sore over the next couple of days so let him rest but make sure he eats and drinks. Oh also he needs to take his suppressants every day at 8:30am since he’s now in a different routine. But that’s all for now, you just need to take him home.’ Dr Zhang smiled, shaking each of their hands before taking his leave to visit other patients, the omegas barely waiting until he’d left before racing into the room to Johnny. He was sitting on the floor trying to button up his shirt when Mark jumped on him, arms going around his neck as he kissed him; Johnny automatically caught him, hands going to the small of his back, even though he let the smallest of whines. ‘Mark! Baby be careful, he’s sore! You can snuggle once we get home!’ Taeyong scolded even as he dove in to press his own kiss to Johnny’s lips, fingers going to dance over his bite on Johnny’s neck, making the alpha quiver slightly. ‘Hi boys, I missed you!’ Lucas smiled at his alpha, pulling Mark up onto his feet before bending down to help Johnny onto his feet, ‘We missed you too hyung!’ Mark supplied, bouncing with happiness. ‘Can we go home? I need to sleep and then we can talk. I know you guys need answers but I just need to sleep!’ He did look as though he could fall asleep standing, the bags beneath his eyes dark and large, so Lucas being the only other person in the room capable of supporting Johnny’s weight, wrapped his arm around his waist to take some of the strain from his hyungs sore muscles. 

It took awhile to get from Johnny’s room and down to the car, partially due to Johnny’s slower pace than usual and partially due to the amount of nurses and doctors who came to say hello to the alpha. A couple of them had been with Johnny throughout the week whereas a couple of the others had been with him other times, yet they all knew him and all had gained a friendship with him. One of the older nurses had also known him since he was 14, watched him grow up.

He fell asleep in the car. Almost as soon as the car started moving he was gone, breathing softly from where he was leaning against Mark’s shoulder. The omega had looked at the older wolves in the front seat with a pout, mouthing the word ‘adorable’ to them, making them chuckle quietly. Luckily the hospital hadn’t been too far away from their house so getting him back there quickly so that he could go straight to bed, wasn’t going to take too long. 

Lucas again helped him inside from the car after softly waking the older alpha up, baring most of his weight after one of his knees buckled. They went straight to the bedroom, quickly stripping Johnny of the hospital clothes he was still wearing and into his own. Then once he’d been tucked under the covers, he was out like a light, so still and quiet that if they hadn't known better, they might have thought he was dead!

Taeyong began making food for once he woke up, content to let him sleep as long as he needed before they talked because that was going to be a very important conversation between the 4 of them. Mark and Lucas were doing their own thing, playing games on the PlayStation, annoying one another into losing matches, until they grew tired and began wrestling on the sofa with the young alpha managing to pin the omega down and tickling him mercilessly until he was crying with laughter and from where Taeyong was preparing food, it gave him some entertainment while he worked. 

They’d got home around midday yet Johnny didn’t get up until close to 9 that evening, starving and sore, very sore, especially in his stomach from all the cramping and spasms of his muscles. Eating was slow, even though he managed to eat a lot and was still feeling hungry by the end of the meal but Taeyong put his foot down to Johnny eating anything else so that he didn’t get sick afterwards. That was when they all moved to the sofa with Johnny in the middle, the omegas on either side and Lucas sitting on the floor in between Johnny’s legs while they watched an episode of ‘Busted!’ that was on. It was quiet and content and nice sitting there watching the show, however, Taeyong knew that they needed to talk that evening or they probably wouldn’t and Johnny had promised they’d talk then so with some grumbling from everyone when he paused the show, the eldest omega turned to face Johnny head on and the alpha didn’t even need to ask to know why, just sighing deeply. 

‘We’re doing this now...’ He said, looking at Taeyong who just nodded, face expressionless, ‘Why didn’t you say anything Johnny? Why did we have to find out when something had gone wrong and you had to go to hospital?’ The alpha ran a hand over his face, ‘I didn’t want to worry any of you. And I honestly didn’t think you would find out because I’ve never forgotten to take my suppressants before. It was just a mistake on my part.’ Taeyong scoffed, ‘Johnny, we are mated, all four of us… did you really think that we wouldn’t have gained the courage to ask one day if we hadn't found out now? You can’t hide things like that. What would have happened if you’d been on your own when that happened? If you couldn’t contact anyone, what would  _ we _ have done Johnny?’ Johnny was obviously getting worked up, his breathing picked up a bit and he was frowning just as much as Taeyong, ‘I don’t know what I would have done, ok I don’t have a clue. I probably would have died, I don't know! I don't think that could ever happen Yong!’

The eldest tried to stand up but both Mark and Taeyong put a hand on his chest to stop him, making him sit back with a huff, while his 3 mates just looked at him. ‘God none of you could ever understand! I am a one is a fucking 4 million chance! There are only a couple of other people like me in the world and  _ none  _ of them are in Korea! Don’t you understand that I’m not a worthy alpha of anything– I’m  _ defective _ , a broken alpha! And I know that you guys probably don’t want to be with me anymore and I can deal with that—’ Mark cut him off, ‘What do you mean we don't want you? Hyung, you're our alpha, our mate, why would we not want you anymore?’ Johnny was getting even more upset, they could all see the tears gathering in his eyes, ‘I told you why! I’m defective! I’m not a proper alpha… I can’t share my rut with you, I can’t even  _ think _ about you guys during my rut because I am so overwhelmed by pain that all I can think of is that I want to die, even though I love you all with all my heart and I never think about dying when I’m not on my rut! But I’m always in so much pain that even though I want you guys around, you couldn’t help me. And I know that I’m worthless as an alpha. I’m sterile, I can’t even give you a cub with a surrogate because I can’t have children! I’m not worth anything to you in the long run!’

Lucas snarled, leaning up to make Johnny look right at him, the younger alpha looked determined, but sad and angry at the same time, ‘You are worth  _ everything _ to us. You are worth every single piece of love we give you hyung. You are worth everything to  _ me _ . I don’t care if we ever have cubs or not, we don’t need them to be happy. You’re not defective– unique yes, hurt by your own biology yes but in no way are you defective. In rut I don’t care if you can’t think of me as long as you know that you can come home to me, to us once it’s over even with the pain. That you know that you are the  _ best _ alpha that any of us could have asked for! You are kind, gentle, caring yet you are strong and wise and you protect everyone who needs it, at the same time! All those doctors and nurses at the hospital who have looked after you over the years, Doctor Zhang– he cares about you, he thinks you’re worth it. That you’re worthy of us! Johnny hyung, you don’t need to be strong all the time with us, especially when it comes to things like our ruts and their heats. That is when we should be most comfortable with each other. We’re mated, have been for a while. You should have more trust in us, that we love you, because we do!’

Johnny completely broke down crying, crying into his hands as the other 3 crowded him into the sofa with hugs and loving words. Again, the younger alpha, made Johnny look at him, tilting his head up to passionately kiss him, strong yet submissive before pulling away, ‘No other alpha could love me the way you do hyung, I submitted to you even when I wasn’t even aware of it… and I doubt it will happen with anyone else. I love you, Mark loves you, Taeyong hyung very clearly loves after being with you for so long already.’ Taeyong laughed, ‘Please don’t doubt how much you mean to us. We may not understand what you deal with, but you can share your feelings with us even then. Don’t keep it bottled up, please hyung because we were so worried about you all week, seeing you in absolute agony and not being able to do anything for you other than scenting a shirt but if that can give you some comfort during your rut in the future then tell us, we’d all be willing to do again, it’s an honour as your mates to at least do something for you.’

Johnny chuckled, pulling Lucas into another kiss, ‘When did you get so smart baby?’ Lucas grinned with a shrug, ‘I don’t have a clue hyung.’ That set Mark off, laughing like crazy which in turn set everyone off and it took awhile before they stopped, finding something new that would continue their laughing, until their sides were aching and Johnny was wincing again.

* * *

Johnny was still very tired and sore over the next few days but after about a week he was back to his normal self, even though his mates now understood just how insecure Johnny felt at times. It was especially clear around the time that he’d have to go to hospital to have his rut, so in the days before he went, they made sure to give him as much affection and attention and love as they could to help solidify in his mind that they did love him, they did care for him even with the thing that he had no control over. 

They were stronger than before, most noticeably between him and Lucas, something about what the younger man had said that first night home that had stuck between the two of them and their omegas were very happy to sit back and watch them love each other more often than previously. 

When Johnny eventually went back to work, ‘Suh’s finest’ and ‘Jung’s jewellery’ officially agreed on their collaboration, deciding that it was going to be a charity collection with all sales going to a charity that helped with research into wolf genetic disorders etc. It had been such a huge success, the general public had loved the designs from both brands and it had been so well received that they even spoke about doing another collection at some point in the future, something that both Johnny and Jaehyun were really looking forward to! 

Johnny still had his bad days, when he was so full of pain that all he could do was scream even when full of morphine but he always had his mates to return home to, his two wonderful, sweet, omegas and his kind of wise, puppy dog alpha and he couldn’t have been more at peace with that.


End file.
